Learning Life’s Skills

From the moment we are born, it seems as though life is constantly testing us. As babies we see adults walking up on two feet while we lie there helplessly on the floor. This is of course unacceptable, and so we are challenged to eventually try walking for ourselves. Although it isn’t easy and as expected we stumble and fall. However, after many failed attempts and mistakes we eventually get it right and start walking like adults. Walking soon becomes easy and we feel on top of the world; proud of our new ability.

Well, as we know the problems and challenges we face don’t stop after we have learned to walk. There are always new challenges around the corner such as learning to talk, learning to write, learning to dance, learning to interact with others, and so forth. Then of course as the years go on we are challenged with tests, examinations, unexpected emotional upheavals such as anger, frustration, anxiety, stress, and then there’s of course heartbreak.

When in a relationship we are challenged constantly and bombarded with a plethora of problems that must be dealt with. These problems can come in the form uncooperative in-laws, financial struggles, health concerns, and a plethora of other day-to-day problems that put a strain on our relationships. However, we don’t necessarily need to be in a relationship to experience these problems. In fact, single people experience exactly the same, but must deal with these problems without the accountability or support from their partner; which of course can make things even more challenging for some.

Many people see their problems as unwelcome aspects of their lives. Problems are like an uninvited stranger coming into our home and settling down on the couch. We just feel uncomfortable in their presence. In fact, we just wish that they would leave us alone, but the reality is that they will continue to linger around your place until you figure out a way to get them back out the front or back door.

Everyone has problems in life. For the most part, we are able to quickly solve them without much trouble. We either come up with a quick solution or use a strategy that worked in the past. When you accept the reality of the present situation, rather than resist the reality, you are more likely to take positive actions.

Allah says: “We shall certainly test you with some fear and hunger, and some loss of Possession and lives and cops. But give good news to the steadfast.” So, problems are part and parcel of our lives.

When a Muslim encounters a problem, he must realize the fact that these are tests from Him and that he needs His intervention to solve the problem and this can only be achieved through divine mercy and by involving in different virtuous deeds. Virtuous deeds elicit Allah’s mercy and reduce Allah’s anger, prevent His punishment and pave the way for solution to a problem.

The following attitude should be adopted in case of any ordeal Allah has bestowed upon us :

  • Believe in Allah: A Muslim in problem must not only believe but strengthen his/her belief, love and closeness to Allah. It must be noted that at no point must a Muslim lose faith in Allah because it is the foundation of other deeds in Islam. This is applicable to all problems with exception of those suffering from severe mental disorders or total insanity.
  • To attribute the Problem to Allah: Unlike the non-Muslims that usually attribute their problems to creatures of Allah, a Muslim must attribute his/her problem to Allah and not to any creature of Allah; and must accept that whatever struck him could not have missed him, and that it was ordained before he was created.
  • To have good thoughts about Allah: A Muslim should maintain good thoughts about his Lord, turning only to Him in worship and supplication, remembering His great generosity, and looking forward to His blessings and forgiveness.
  • One must simultaneously show fear and hope, and give abundance charity: Fearing Allah’s punishment for his sin, and hoping for Allah’s mercy. Allah says about the true believers: “They invoke their Lord with fear and hope, they spend out of what we bestowed on them.”

When you accept the reality of the present situation, rather than resist the reality, you are more likely to take positive actions that will solve your problems with the help of God. Remember to take responsibility for your feelings and your actions, that’s real Life’s Skills.

“…Allah does not change the conditions in which a people are in until they change that which is in themselves…”

Bashir Nuckchady